On “Meeting” Andy Cohen and Fear of Missing Documentation (FOMD)

November 24th, 2014

I just had an AHA! moment (thus the insane picture of my clique and I above, obviously) and it goes a little something like this… Last night, I went to my imaginary BFF Andy Cohen’s second book launch. To get you all up to speed with my infatuation with him, well, let’s just say that if given the chance to hide him in my basement for keeps, I’d do it — which is completely creepy and nightmarish but I’m all about real talk here.  So as you can very well imagine, the entire day leading up to our first EPIC encounter was spent obsessing over what I’d say to him, how I’d style my hair (beach waves or pin straight?), how I was going to pitch him his next Bravo pilot (currently entitled “The Chic Greek” but I’m totally open to your suggestions) and how I would FINALLY land a prize spot with the King of Reality TV on my Instagram feed. The latter being the most embarrassing admission ever in the history of the internet, clearly.

And as luck would have it, none of these things transpired at the actual event. The opportunity to walk right up to him armed with a barrage of burning questions and sordid confessions — such as my sick fascination with Ladies of London, how Teresa Giudice (and her lack of proper grammar) makes me MENTAL, how when I grow up I want to be Lisa Vanderpump (Giggy and her British accent are everything), and whether or not Anderson Cooper is a good kisser — never presented itself.

But what drove me to drink (three $19 cosmos precisely) was the superficial notion I was unable to photograph my encounter with Andy to share it with the rest of the world. The entire night, my FOMD (fear of missing documentation) soured the entire affair. 


Fast forward to right now (a day later) and I realize this whole FOMD situation is getting out of hand for both myself and a myriad of those around me. It feels as though if we don’t photograph and share our moments on Facebook or Instagram — whether it be a chance encounter with Willie Nelson (#PassTheGrass) to one’s buttery pasta dish at Olive Garden (#foodporn) to the perfect froth on the morning’s cappuccino (#coffee)  it’s as though it never really happened. It’s like the whole experience was a mirage. A farce. And that’s a solid 9 on a scale from 1 to Amanda Bynes.

So thank you, Universe, for blockading me from meeting Andy last night. It was your infinitely cool way of saying, “Enjoy the moment, Maria. And put down your iPhone, for chrissakes. That’s Andy Cohen — in the living flesh! — standing in front of you right there. Enjoy this ephemeral evening.”

The takeaway here other than being present and in the moment? A little social media mystery is a very good thing.

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Art Basel Fashion Events Guide

November 23rd, 2014

Art Basel

More than ever, fashion and art collide for this edition of Art Basel Miami Beach. While the awe-inspiring art exhibits serve as the beating heart of the weekend, a spate of shopping-centric soirees are set to take place. Heck, even my four-year-old is throwing a bash! Okay, I kid. As the invitations come pouring in, read my definitive guide on open-to-the-public (yay!) fashion-centric events taking place simultaneously during the prestigious art fair which runs from Dec. 4 to 7.

Harper’s BAZAAR @ Art Basel: Harper’s BAZAAR returns to Miami for the third installation of their BAZAAR@ Art Basel Miami Beach programming December 2 – December 4th. The boutique will be hosted at Soho Beach House with featured fashion and beauty brands including La Perla, Henri Bendel, Natura Bisse, VINCE, Givenchy Beauty, Dior Nails, Gucci Eyewear and Armani Fragrance, among others. Dates and times include… Tuesday, Dec. 2 from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m.: Shopping with the Harper’s BAZAAR editors at the ShopBAZAAR Boutique (open to the public with RSVP at thestyle@HarpersBAZAAR.com). Wednesday, Dec. 3 from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m.: Shopping with the Harper’s BAZAAR editors at the ShopBAZAAR Boutique (open to the public with RSVP at thestyle@HarpersBAZAAR.com). And lastly, Thursday, Dec. 4 from 11 a.m. to 6 PM: Day of Beauty/Shopping with the Harper’s BAZAAR editors at the ShopBAZAAR Boutique with nail art by Vanity Projects/Dior (open to the public with RSVP at thestyle@HarpersBAZAAR.com).

Diane von Furstenberg Appearances: The legendary designer will be visiting Books & Books at Bal Harbour Shops on Dec. 2 at 6:30 p.m. Von Furstenberg recently penned a memoir, The Woman I Wanted to Be, and the conversation surrounding the tome will be mediated by entertainment journalist Ana Remos is open to the public (no RSVP necessary). On Dec. 3 from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m., von Furstenberg will be visiting her novel Aventura Mall boutique to toast her tome. Sips, bites and shopping will be in order as the designer signs copies of her book. Guests can RSVP by emailing j.caracciola@dvf.com.

Designer Paul Andrew In-Store Appearance at Capretto Shoes: Calling all heel addicts: CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund winner Paul Andrew will be in town for a meet-and-great at South Miami’s beloved Capretto Shoes boutique. Peruse Andrew’s Spring/Summer 2015 collection which was influenced by the idyllic Greek islands and shop Miami’s most meticulous curation of shoes at Capretto (5822 Sunset Drive, South Miami) on Thursday, Dec. 4 from 12 to 2 p.m.

French Connection Kick Off Party: Score Art Basel gear and save. No, really. French Connection to host a party where shoppers can take 30 percent of all full price merchandise on Wednesday, Dec. 3 from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. at their Lincoln Road location. Personal styling sessions by Miami Fashion Blogger Nicholl Vincent, sips, treats and a DJ are also in order.

AG Jeans “Art of Jeans” Event: Now here’s an event that’s sheer jean-iuos. AG Jeans would like to extend an invitation to you for their Art Basel-inspired event named “The Art of Denim” taking place on Thursday, December 4 at 6 p.m. inside their Aventura Mall location. Designed to bring art awareness to the Aventura area, the event will feature live artists and a display of denim-inspired pieces from local talent. Artworks will then be auctioned in store and proceeds will go to a local art-related charity. Bloggers Martha DominguezRia Michelle and yours truly will be in attendance to chat and mingle and live beats by D.J. Bre, refreshments, champagne and bite-sized desserts will also be on hand. So come by and say HI, freaks!

The Art of Fashion: It’s all about shoes (can I get an, “amen”?) during this special exhibit titled “The Art of Fashion.” Replete with a spate of designer such s Melissa, Manolo Blahnik, Salvatore Ferragamo, Christian Louboutin, and Roger Vivier, the exhibition emphasizes the affluent cultural history of footwear design and its relation to status, power, fantasy and sexuality. The three-day exhibit will take place at the Adrienne Arscht Center from Dec. 3 to Dec. 6 from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Consign of the Times Pop Up Shop: Miami’s most coveted consignment store, Consign of the Times, will set up a temporary shop to quench your designer labels at less needs. The pop up shop takes place from Wednesday, Dec. 3 to Saturday Dec. 6, from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. at 135 NE 40th Street, Design District (Across the street from Michael’s Genuine).

Jay Godfrey and LeiVanKash Trunk Show Breakfast at MVM Miami:  Glam dresses and exotic jewelry will be in the mix at MVM Miami boutique (175 NW 23rd Street, Miami). On Friday, Dec. 5 from 9 to 11 a.m., join jewelry designer Leila Kashanipour of the exotic LeiVanKash collection for a breakfast meet and greet along with a Jay Godfrey trunk show. 

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On White and Wet Seal

November 21st, 2014

Market Miami

{Top, pants & hat c/o Market, Chanel crossbody, Jimmy Choo wedges, Mia Jewels necklace}

mia jewels

market miami

As I get older (yawn), I’ve most definitely gravitated toward a monochromatic schematic. I’m not feeling the love toward wearing bold prints and really loud colors any more (double yawn). Like, in college I’d wear a neon pink hibiscus print dress from Wet Seal like nobody’s business. This one time, I wore lime green pleather pants paired with a purple polyester polka-dot print top. I’m totally serious. The felonies against fashion I committed at UF were downright criminal. So this is why I love this all-white look (and yes…it’s okay to wear white after Labor Day!) freshly gleamed from Market boutique in South Miami.

Hmmm…what else? I’ve been relishing Miami’s cooler temps like a cherry-flavored Lifesavers candy. One morning, I almost busted out my vintage fur but felt it was too premature to go there. But the more I think about it, I should have because you only live once and you never know what tomorrow may bring.


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A Wordy Girl Exclusive: Capretto’s 2-for-1 Sale News

November 18th, 2014

capretto shoes miami

{All these designer shoes are buy one, get one free}

If there’s anything I love more than Nutella straight from the jar — it’s definitely a designer shoe sale. So when the super sweet folks at Capretto Shoes invited me in to preview and shop their legendary 2 for 1 sale — I was all over it like a stay-at-home-mom on Christian Grey. For those of you not-in-the know, Capretto is Miami’s top designer shoe and accessories boutique which boasts the most meticulous (read: psychotic) assortment of shoes from brands such as Pierre Hardy, YSL, Valentino, Gianvito Rossi, Golden Goose, Gucci, Proenza Schouler, Jimmy Choo, Pedro Garcia, Isabel Marant, Balenciaga and more.

And I’ve got the exclusive scoop for you, cool kids: Capretto’s EPIC 2-for-1 sale begins Thursday, Nov. 20th at 9:30 a.m.  The boutique is located at 5822 Sunset Drive in the heart of South Miami. Pictured above are my top picks from the sale — and yes, handbags are up for grabs, too. I scooped up a pair of Valentino booties and a blush-pink YSL bag. My sartorial choices were far more classic year — whereas in the past, I typically score funkier pieces from this particular sale. I MUST BE GETTING OLD. Anyhoo, I also spotted hot heels from Pierre Hardy, wedges from Gianvito Rossi, Chloé platforms and YSL Tributes

Good luck! May the odds forever be in your favor.


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So Freshii and So Clean Clean

November 14th, 2014

plaid top

{Zara top, 7 for all Mankind  jeans, Hat from Market, Valentino handbag and cuff, Be & D belt}


miami fashion bloggers

THE HUSBAND: “Maria, where are you heading in that outfi? You look like you’re about to go work on a dude ranch.”

ME: “Excellent! I was thinking more along the lines of a Ralph Lauren ad campaign but I’ll take your dude-ranch-assessment as a compliment, obviously.”

And off I went in my cowgirl best to host a blogger breakfast at freshly minted Freshii in Wynwood (right next to Panther Coffee). Think healthy bites (juices, salads, wraps, burritos, fro-yo, soups and more) prepared in a snap. It was great to catch up with my gal pals over clean eats where the topics of conversation ranged from the colossal circumference of Kim Kardashian‘s ass in her latest Paper mag spread to how Art Boozel, ahem, Basel is upon us and how I need Chloés‘ latest leopard-print calf-hair booties in my life. Like, yesterday.

Anyhoo, we collectively agreed that Freshii is exactly what Miami needs — hearty noms in a jiffy. For those of you itching to try something new, I’m offering you cool kids a 15% discount on Freshii entrees from Monday (11/17) through Monday (11/24). All you need to say is, “Energize Wynwood” at the register and you’ll be taken care of.

Yeehaw to that!

Photos by World Red Eye

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