Aside from Sasha Baron Cohen’s pouring-of-Kim-Jong’s-cremated-ashes on Ryan Seacrest and J. Lo’s nip slip, last night’s Oscar’s were akin to taking Ambien — a totes snoozefest. I’m sorry, Billy Crystal, but it’s time to retire and give the hosting gig to someone more intrepid and snarky — say, Chris Rock or Howard Stern? Heck, I’d take Charlie Sheen or Chelsea Handler at this point. Anyhoo, here I am in all my Oscar gown glory because A) I’ve never worn this dress before and B) I’ve owned it for six years. Which leads me to the next observation: Why do I buy such stunners and NEVER WEAR THEM?! Someone call the producers of Hoarders, mmkay?
Photo by Vas Andy